Beyond Four Walls

It was technically only 4 walls, a box, a shell, a building.

But it was so much more.

It was home. It was dozens of talent shows, hundreds of friends, thousands of meals, millions of memories.

Those 4 walls were literally shelter from the storm. The winds would howl, thunder and lightning rage and we'd ring that big brass bell and run to our safe place. I remember huddling in the basement singing songs and laughing as a camper. Later as the counselor staging impromptu skits, leading the songs and comforting tears.

It was countless chapel sessions, raising my hands in worship with my brothers and sisters, sitting too close in the uncomfortable folding chairs sweating from our arms being pressed together in the summer heat.

Every Thanksgiving we gathered, all 60 of us starting with my great-grandparents to share a meal, a service and to give thanks together. We put together puzzles, played made up game shows, looked through Black Friday ads, ate Grandma's rolls, flew the turkey around the room, turned our tables to face one another, shared our triumphs and struggles from the year and always, always sang the Doxology and Great Is Your Faithfulness.

When a tornado threatened to strike during my high school graduation party it was where we took shelter, grabbing the ice cream bowls, pictures, gifts and running inside to beat the storm.

And after I said, "I Do," it was where we went to celebrate our life as newlyweds. Where 215 of our friends and family gathered together to toast us and wish us well. In those walls my Papa said a prayer for our marriage and I've never felt so very loved by so many people in my life.

On Monday I got a call from my dad at 9am. He was using "that voice," the one I've heard more times than I'd like this year. My dad is terrible at breaking bad news. He sounded burdened, choked up.

"Last night the roof of the Lodge collapsed."

It was totally unexpected and with no warning but this extreme Michigan winter and the weight of the snow proved to be just too much. The Lakeview Lodge is the dining hall at the camp where my parents and sister currently work and I lived at from age 2 till I went to college. It's the place my great-grandfather helped to found and my parents met. It's home.

It's just a building yet that day I cried and mourned as I would the loss of a friend.

Yet, God is still in this. At 6pm there were 150 people in the building and 0 when the roof fell. Insurance will help. Hundreds of supporters of the camp have rallied around them and my parents as they lead through this difficult time. They are my family. People are hearing of this little camp who may not otherwise.

It feels dumb writing a blog post to a building but it's so much more than a building. This will be a story that we get to tell of God's faithfulness. We have seen him work through this building and we know He will do it again. We will continue to sing Great Is Thy Faithfulness. We'll make new memories.

So what I'm learning right now is that when the roof crumbles, the foundation cracks and what you've always known to be steady is no more, He is there.

As the director of the camp, my Dad gets to deal with the brunt of the collapse. As he said to me, "Now is when we get to practice what we preach. When we get to show people that we truly believe and trust."

And as he's told me many a time, "To God be the glory, great things He has done."

Pay It Forward

This morning on the radio I heard a story of 50 people choosing to "pay it forward" at Starbucks. It all started with one person who offered to pay for the car behind them and just kept going from there.

I love this story because 1) I love Starbucks, 2) I love the mystery of it all, 3) It restores my faith in humanity, just a little bit.

Did the first person ever even know what they started?

Did order #30 know they were a part of something so big?

Did the last person who ended the cycle know what they had done?

We're all a part of a story bigger than our own and God is the author and creator, the perfecter of our faith.

This holiday season I'm so thankful to be a part of what He is doing and that my life is just one in a string of pay it forwards.

Do you know you're a part of the story, too?

When My Heart Is Overwhelmed

For the first time in 2 years I rearranged my office furniture. It was time for change and a fresh outlook. My intern has been bugging me to mix it up for a while and when he walked in one day I said, "It's time. Let's go. Move that desk!"

So we pushed and pulled, measured and calculated, dug around in the basement for different cords and tables and smashed a few toes. The end result is open, larger and more welcoming. I loved it and so did everyone who stopped by.

Until a few days later when things got really hard. Directing summer camp can be a blast, full of laughter, memories, and life-changing moments. But on other days, when there are trips to the hospital, campers arguing and fighting, staff getting sick and not finishing their duties, upset parents and thing after thing after thing it can be really overwhelming and exhausting.

On those I try to say, "It's a day." Not a bad one, not a terrible one. Just a day. I try to keep my focus on the big picture, stay positive, smile through it all and lead from a full cup.

But sometimes you just gotta cry and those tears are coming, no matter what.

Confession time: I have hidden under my desk with my office lights off and door closed crying because of "one of those days". No one knew I was there and they couldn't ask me any questions. It felt desperate and like a last resort but I knew that escape was there.

And now it's gone. With my desk against the wall anyone who enters the office can see me and everything I'm doing. When it got hard and when I just wanted to hide away and cry, I suddenly realized that was no longer an option. At first I almost panicked.Where could I hide? Where could I fall apart in secret?

Then I took a deep breath. And I didn't hide. I didn't fall apart. I was brave. 

And I think I was better for it. 

I faced what was overwhelming and instead of looking to the dark space under my desk I looked to the one who really makes it OK.

source

When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. 

Psalm 61:2 

So when it's been "a day", when things are getting hard, when you're ready to hide, retreat, escape, turn to the one who who knows and loves you. He's got the whole world in his hands, He's got my world in his hands, He's got your world in his hands.

She Reads Truth

On July 13, 2012 I saw a little tweet from a college friend that said, doing a she reads truth bible study. I was curious what it was so I clicked through and found the She Reads Truth community. After investigating and clicking around for a while I tweeted back, I think I'll join you! And that's where it all began. I'm not quite celebrating my personal anniversary but am celebrating this community!

This has not been an easy year, but having God's Word as a part of my every day has made everyday not just bearable but possible, triumphant and even joyful.

When I tell people about #srt I tell them that I finally found something that works for me. The biggest part of making a change, making something happen is having a plan. Since last July, I've known what to read in my Bible and even have a checkbox to click when I do it. As a driver doer wanna get stuff done- I really like those checkboxes.

I've never done this before but I made a little vlog (By the way, the word vlog makes me squirm a little. I think it sounds gross.) to share about my SRT experiences!

It's kinda long (I kinda talk a lot) but here are the highlights...

1) I have a plan and have consistently been reading my Bible for almost a year, for the first time in my life!
2) God has given me truth from him exactly when I needed it and exactly when He needed me to share it with someone else.
3) Having God's word saturing my life has changed my daily perspectives, helped me to be more obedient and to fix my eyes upon him daily.

I've been eating my daily bread this year and I am filled to the measure of the fullness of God.

Have you been feeling dry? Struggling to spend time in God's word and feeling guilty? Pick it up, find a plan and watch to see how He will move in your heart and life. I've been there, felt that and I can tell you for sure that He's waiting.

Make Sure They Know I Love Them

Each morning from May 10 - August 17 between 7:00 and 7:30am I sit in a circle, we call it a huddle, with 40 college students and give them a word, a challenge, a short devotional. And some days I feel like God is pouring out his words through me and other days I feel like I'm grasping at straws and totally under qualified for this.

This week was just like that. I am not good at mornings. I heard someone say that today and I like it more than saying I'm not a "morning person".  Guess what? Neither are college students. The Late the night before I found myself searching through my journal, my Bible and my head trying to figure out what I should share. I had a lot of ideas but at the same time none at all.

Often I bring a challenge.
From Hosea 6:3, so let us press on to know the Lord.
From Psalm 127:1, are you building for God's kingdom or for your own?

But this night felt different. I stopped in my searching and prayed, "Lord, what would you have me tell them?"  

I felt him saying, "Make sure they know I love them." 

How simple. How true. How profound.

And so I shared Ephesians 3:16-19, one of my all-time favorite verses.
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

HIGH. WIDE. LONG. DEEP. 

In my head I fall into an ocean and I'm surrounded by the water on all sides. It presses in, envelopes and surrounds me, touches every part of me. Just like the love of God.

So on the days when it's just all too much, when you've run ragged and the challenges are on every side know that He loves you. It's the foundation, the cornerstone. Close your eyes, lean into Him and hear Him whisper, "Make sure you know how much I love you." 

If God Asks Something Crazy

I consider myself a pretty adventurous person. I'm up for trying pretty much anything once. A weird food, adrenaline pumping activity, strange home remedy, whatever. I went through a phase where I got caught up in pretty much anything someone asked (dared) me to do and tried to break a board with my head. NEWSFLASH: It's really hard and if you don't know what you're doing you might end up with a goose egg and some splinters in your nose. Not that I'd know personally...

Even though I'm adventurous I think I have a good head on my shoulders and I think I know when something  is just plain stupid crazy. It matters who asks, who dares. If a friend says to try it, I'm more likely than if a stranger says it but ultimately it's my decision. So why do I try the crazy? Why would I do something potentially dangerous, uncomfortable or weird because someone tells me about it? 

I trust the person asking. I believe they've been there and done it before. I think the risk is worth the reward. 

Recently I started reading the book of Hosea from the Bible with the She Reads Truth community. It's a little book in the Old Testament written by the prophet Hosea and I've never really dug into it before. The most I really knew was from the fictional book, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (which I highly recommend by the way!)

God asks Hosea to do something really crazy, to take a prostitute for a wife and continue to pursue and love her even as she turns away again and again. God uses their relationship to show us his relentless pursuit for us even as we turn away again and again.

God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute...

Noah to build a boat in a dry land...

Abraham to sacrifice his son...

Peter to step out of the boat and walk on water...

Jesus to leave heaven and come to Earth as a small, helpless baby...

Has He ever asked me to do something crazy? Have I missed it? 

Would I recognize it as God's call on my life or would I dismiss the idea as illogical or irrational? 

I don't feel like I've done anything that crazy for God and maybe He hasn't asked yet.

But I sure don't want to miss it when, not if, when He does. 

In order to know if God is asking something crazy of me, I have to know God. To be in His presence, spending time in His word, able to recognize His voice. Only then will I be able to say, "Yes" when he asks me to do something crazy. I pray that I will say yes. 

Because I trust the person asking. I believe He's been there and done it before. I think the risk is worth the reward. 

(Image created by me on picmonkey)